


when you can't do anything but breathe

by Radioabsurd



Category: David Makes Man (TV)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Awkward Conversations, Black Character(s), Canon Related, Communication, Conflict, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Episode: s01e01 David's Sky, F/M, Fear, Feelings, First In The Fandom, Friendship/Love, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Guilt, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Blame Tumblr, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internal Conflict, Lack of Communication, M/M, Men Crying, Mental Link, Mentioned JG, Mentioned Principal Fallow, Mentioned Ray Kelly, Mother-Son Relationship, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Beta Read, POV David, POV David Young, Platonic Relationships, Protectiveness, Psychic Bond, Relationship Problems, Season/Series 01, Talking, Teenagers, There is both in this fic, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Vulnerability, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:27:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24417364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Radioabsurd/pseuds/Radioabsurd
Summary: David and Seren talk a little bit about the incident that got them landed in the Principal's office, but not with words.Season 1, Episode 1 related.[Or: David Makes Man writers never gave context to these scenes, so I decided to do it a little bit for them.]
Relationships: David & Gloria, David & Seren, David Young & Gloria Young, David Young & Seren Kelly, David Young/Seren Kelly, David/Seren, Jessica Kelly/Ray Kelly
Kudos: 5





	when you can't do anything but breathe

**Author's Note:**

> read the note at the bottom to know what the self-harm tag is about so that you do not read something you're not comfortable with. Thanks! 
> 
> Feel free to tell me if you think other warnings in the tags and/or notes should be added! 
> 
> enjoy!!

He can feel his whole body vibrating with the need to _move_ , but he’s trapped, and he’s practically folded to his knees against the cold and unforgiving plastic of the chair. He wants to talk, wants to say _something_ but when he opens his mouth, his throat closes, like a taunt, asking him _“what could **you** possibly say to make this better?”_. He still tries though, clears his closed throat, opens his mouth, but nothing comes out and he just- 

_he can’t he can’t he can’t he can’t._

He can see Seren shaking in the corner of his burning eyes, like he’s feeling what David is feeling and it makes him want to close his eyes and let his unshed tears fall. 

His head starts to ache, little thumps of repetition against his temple, and he starts to focus on the movement of his feet against the white vinyl tile his school’s floors are made of. His thoughts start to race, and the thumping turns into sharp pains that make him grit his teeth and all his thoughts blend together until they form one thing. 

_I need to apologize I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm s o r r y._

He opens his mouth, tries to talk again and a sound escapes him. He can’t really hear it, can only feel the way the sound drags across his vocal cords, can practically see whatever he said ringing in the air because every part of his body is slowly growing attuned to Seren’s growing voice in his head, taking away the building headache. 

**Why did you do that?** Seren’s voice is shaky, but there’s a firm undertone to his voice. It’s hard and soft and _accusing._ He can hear Seren’s breathcatch, feels it and his chest stutters itself in response. The words swirl around him until they’re all he can touch, all he can taste, all he can hear, all he can smell, and all he can see. The letters seem to fly around the air before catching onto the wall, drooping with emotion, like every letter in Seren’s sentence is talking.

Seren glances at him before looking away and David can see his throat move, like he was swallowing down a sentence he was going to say out loud. The words stay in his head, growing with size and he almost jumps when he realizes he didn’t respond yet, starts to sweat when he realizes he doesn’t have an explanation. 

He doesn’t know how to explain the way Sky’s voice seemed to drown out his emotions for a moment before it got buried, doesn’t know how to explain the way a tornado seemed to rush through his body, leaving him cold and hot and how the urge to destroy almost left him breathless. 

**_I don’t know._** It’s true and he’s not lying but Seren is _looking_ at him with a small frown on his face and something rises in him and he’s thinking about the incident and throwing his past emotions at Seren before he can stop. Seren flinches away from him, and self-hatred burns his throat, twists his stomach, makes his breath catch in his chest. He sits up a little, opens his mouth before shutting it and tries to _breathe_. 

He doesn’t have a chance to say anything because then everything is drowned out by _Seren Seren Seren._

 **I hit you...You wanted me to hurt you?** Seren’s voice makes him ache, more than any punch could because Seren sounds _wrecked_ , like he hit David hard enough to send him to a hospital for a visit he can’t afford and not like he hit David because he-

 _ **I don’t know I don’t know I don’t-**_ Maybe David did want Seren to hurt him, want Seren to be the one to punch instead of being the one punched. He doesn’t know, doesn’t care about the reason, not when guilt is still souring his stomach and clenching his heart because he can’t even look Seren straight in the eye. 

David _can’t_ look at him, doesn’t feel like he’s allowed to, not when he said _that_ in his friend’s ear in front of the whole class. 

Maybe Seren can feel his building panic because he starts talking again and any thoughts David had are gone, blown away by Seren’s voice. 

**You lied to the principal. You didn’t call me THAT.** David doesn’t want to talk about it, doesn’t want to think about how, for a second, he believed everything he said in front of his principal. 

David’s vision starts to blur, and he shakes his head. His fingers start to twitch and his chest stutters before he can stop it. Seren starts to breathe obnoxiously in and out, but David follows it, pushing gratefulness at him, after a few seconds of trying to _breathe._

 _ **I-I know I know.**_ David knows Seren doesn’t need the confirmation of what he already knows, but the thought is already plastered in his mind, spread out in ink and emotion. Seren doesn’t say anything for a minute, but then he shudders. Something inside him, protective and hot with rage and the feeling of _failure_ , rises and melts the pain in David’s brain as Seren’s voice fills his head again. His voice isn’t as confident, and David can feel his eyebrows furrowing. 

**What-what if she heard...?** There’s no question of who Seren’s talking about and David can almost see Dr. Woods-Trap talking to each boy separately before calling their parents into the classroom. Can almost see his mom trying to talk to him and JG being worried and can almost see _Seren bruised and bloody just like last time, but this time he doesn’t make it to school and-_

His throat turns dry and his chest starts to feel like there’s an anvil attached to it, crushing his ribs and squeezing his heart and he doesn’t know if this is his emotion or Seren’s or if the feeling of being suffocated is both of their fear and anxiety combined but _he can’t breathe he can’t breathe he can’t b r e a t h e._

The door opens beside them, shattering Seren’s voice in his head. A secretary, one he hasn’t learned the name of yet, opens the door and looks at them, popping her gum in annoyance. She rolls her eyes and David breaths out. In. Tries to _breathe._

“Seren, your Mom is here.” It’s what Seren and David had been expecting but it still comes as a shock and his mind explodes with sharp expletives from the boy beside him and he bites his lip to quiet pained sounds. He doesn’t have a chance to say anything, in his mind or out loud before Seren’s mind leaves his in a snap, making him feel empty and alone. 

Mrs. Kelly comes out the door, dress dancing with her exposed legs and high heels making her look taller than she already is. She steps in front of them and David can catch the way Seren stops his flinch and David stares at him, wondering and not liking the conclusion he came to. 

Mrs. Kelly frowns down at them, disapprovingly. She signs a form the secretary gives her before looking back down at them, eyes flashing. 

“I cannot believe the two of you.” Her voice is harsh, and it sends shivers down his spine. She saunters off into the hallway with a single look at Seren. 

“Just wait until your daddy hears about this.” David’s chest tightens, but he doesn’t look to see Seren’s reaction, already knows it’ll _hurt_ , so he eyes the floor and tries to _breathe._

Seren stiffens and David can see the way his knees wobble before he slowly stands up. Seren doesn’t look at him, just slowly grabs his book bag while his chest stills for moments at a time and if he closes his eyes, he can imagine Seren’s dread amid his own. David stares, eyes widening. He can’t allow himself to look away as he watches the product of his destruction and his throat closes when Seren finally has all his belongings together. 

Seren looks at him one last time, eyes shuttered and face blank, before slowly following his mother. David doesn’t watch him go, stares unseeingly in front of him as his headache slowly starts to come back and his vision blurs. He doesn’t know how long he sits there until his mom’s shoes fill his vision, but he doesn’t move. He can’t move, not even when he distantly hears a sigh and feel a hand rubbing his head. He can’t do anything, doesn’t try to do anything, except for one thing. 

He tries to _breathe._

**Author's Note:**

> [Self-harm tag: Seren asks David if he wanted Seren to hurt him on purpose & though David doesn't answer him, it is alluded that he did.] Slight one-liner, but warning much needed!  
> •••  
> Hi! Let me know about grammatical errors or any errors of that nature! I hope you guys enjoy this first work in the fandom. I'm not really expecting anyone to know what this fandom is, but, if you're interested, it's on the OWN channel & app! 
> 
> But this is what the series I about (I copied from Google): 
> 
> "David Makes Man" is a drama series created by Academy Award-winning screenwriter Tarell Alvin McCraney ("Moonlight"). Set in South Florida, this lyrical coming-of-age story centers on a teenage prodigy named David who lives in the projects but attends a magnet school for academically gifted youngsters. David, played by newcomer Akili McDowell, straddles two different worlds, navigating between the streets that raised him and the school that offers him a way out of poverty. His balancing act comes at an emotional price which is portrayed in this original series on OWN that delves into issues of race and identity.


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